Bible Belt Blues (and the Grass is Always Greener)

18 Jun

Here I sit in an airport in the middle of the desert waiting for a connecting flight to Oakland. I left Oklahoma early this morning- gratefully, gladly, as the temperature was nearing 90 and the air was as thick and stifling as the city itself.

I hate flying and airports and traveling and the recycled, stinky air. But I love the destination, and isn’t that funny? Because there are all these great stories and quotes, the great ode to The Journey (forget the destination). Sometimes it’s true that the best part IS the journey but in my mind and heart I long for the greenery on the other side.

No joke: I suffer from the Grass is Always Greener syndrome. I waited and planned for and longed for the day L and I would get to move to Oklahoma. Those prairies and that weather sounded so … romantic. Which is NOT the way I would describe the place now that I’ve been here a month. The red earth and warm summer nights are dreamy for sure, as was the leisure time I had for the first week or so. I had been looking so forward to being a hausfraus and getting my relax on. But now I face the reality that I have nothing to do, literally no business here and my brains are bored. And this is a major city that lacks, shall we say, a metropolitan flair. This city girl is living in one giant, glorified suburb, yo. As it turns out having a job serves more than one purpose and I am lost without one.

I have had a lot of time in my head, thinking about home (both of them), and work, and family. And it occurred to me that Oklahoma isn’t the destination- it never was. It’s our dirty, dusty, stinky means to a glorious green end. Which is South Dakota, sure, of course, but also a better life. The possibility of more, of the end of many struggles, closeness to family. If you had told me in 1999 that I would look forward to a life in Sioux Falls I would have laughed in your face and tried to make it untrue. But here we are, and I am glad I never knew.

Destination: South Dakota.

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