This is Happening

19 May

April is gone and now half of May as well. Things are mainly under control here in the house with the pug, with both L and myself out jobs and uprooting our lives. In less than two weeks we’ll be on the road to Oklahoma for the summer.

The last week or so has been emotional for me. As we are packing up and moving on we’re reconnecting with memories and people from the past. Everyone wants to get in their last goodbyes. We had a going-away party last weekend that packed our little two bedroom so full of friends and family it was astonishing. It was a real reminder of what it takes to build a support system, and this isn’t the first time I’ve left all of that behind. All of this is exciting, all off this is bittersweet.

You’d think that moving three times in the last three years of our marriage would make us some kind of packing pros. Organization is hard though and the convergence of almost 60 years of life between the two of us means we have a lot of STUFF. My stuff consists mainly of clothing and jewelry and photo albums, his of cds and paperwork and tools and other random crap.

One might say that I horde jewelry. I make it, I sell it (sometimes), I buy it- loads of it. There are literally hundreds of items in my collection. It’s special to me. I can remember where every piece came from- whether it was a gift from someone special, who designed it, what year I bought it, what I loved about it, what was going on in my life when it became mine. Today I opened a box of jewelry I hadn’t seen in at least a year and all the memories of my last eleven years living in Minnesota hit me like a freight train.

A silver heart locket to remember my first love, given to me when I moved here.

My mother’s gold wedding ring set with the tiny diamond.

The first necklace I ever made, in sterling and peridot.

A countless number of earring sets L has given me over the years.

Gifts from friends who have traveled to places like Hawaii, India and Thailand.

There is jewelry that reminds me of being 18 again and brand new to this state, of studying abroad a decade ago, backpacking Europe before my last year in college (and never wanting to come back home), meeting L and falling in love in the summertime, working at every single one of my adult jobs and remembering all my past coworkers, moving to Minnesota and getting to know my extended family.

All of this time I have wanted to leave because it’s too cold here. Because it’s really hard to get to know Midwesterners. Because my heart belongs to the Bay Area. Because it’s so damn flat here. Because he will come with me. Because it’s a big world and life is short.

Now that I am packing up to go I can see so clearly how lovely things are in Minneapolis. But I can also see clearly that starting over again will be good and we will most definitely land on our feet.

It doesn’t hurt that we’ll be a close enough for a weekend trip back home.

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One Response to “This is Happening”

  1. Val May 19, 2011 at 9:04 pm #

    This brought tears to my eyes, J-Dawg. Happy travels to you and the DH. Looking forward to your next visit back to CA and more cancer-cakes! xox

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